In a bucket of blood cum and shit

A love gone yet never lost.

Fri, 04 Jan 2008 00:27:25 GMT

Time stops and the woman turns to look into his eyes, she begins to speak softly "my love we can never be, i need to find my own path, it is time for me to leave." she pauses for a moment as a single tear somehow rolls down his cheak "i have always loved you this you know is true, please keep in mind that my heart will always carry you" she embraces him in her arms one last time and kisses his cheak, then turns and walks away.

headsup

Thu, 02 Aug 2007 22:44:24 GMT

so we did indeed move to saltlakecity, live pretty close to 2100s. basically like 4 or 5 blocks from sugar house. um...getting sick of alot of my "friends" have a feeling they dont really want me around but dont want to "hurt my ""feelings"". who gives a shit. um, sca ...boreing..as of late. turns out im one of the only "attractive" males that cant get laid at an event..what kind of shit is that? -shrug- im not too worried about it just noticing how pathetic that is lmfao. anywho. ummm...still dirt poor (my own damn fault). should have internet within the next 3 to 4 months though...i think. which would be sweet cause then i wouldnt have to travel to bountifuls library from slc...that noise is ....ed! um..yeah..thats it i suppose.

life is..like melted icecream.

Fri, 06 Jul 2007 20:21:30 GMT

SO! we are indeed moving to salt lake city. i think we can start moving our shit either today or tomorrow which means....shitty v.v. anyway. as im sure i already told yall, i cut my hair...i know i mentioned it on myspace but yeah. i have a mohawk now..for those who check this but dont know yet. um..came close to giving up on love i think im going to just take a break from it for a good minute or two. thinking about joining the military but i know i wouldnt make it through bootcamp..i dont think id be able to adapt to military life..meaning..im too much of a civilian..also meaning, i dont really give a shit about our country. oh well. anywho.. the 4th was alright..not the best but alright and i think im closer to quitting ciggs finally. um..my ex girlfriends cousin..who is turning 16 in september seems to have a huge crush on me..already asked me once "what does age have to do with anything who cares?" o.o..wondering if i should go for it or wait....i think ill wait. for a good while anyway, i do want to have some fun while im free. anywho, ill post again some other time.

grah

Sat, 30 Jun 2007 23:00:04 GMT

jesus..its been 13 weeks. um..so me and my dad are probably going to end up moving to salt lake city...not sure where exactly but yeah we are definatly moving now.. -sigh- um..im thinking about dropping out of the sca entirely im not sure though..estrella is just about always worth it. but..most of the other events suck ass. anywho..ill update some other time. maybe in another 13 weeks.

im losing it.

Tue, 27 Mar 2007 00:11:57 GMT

so im at the libry..i swear the librarian girl is checking me out..but who knows..never will. anyway. cut my hair..dont know how many of you know this yet..but yeah i cut it into a mohawk ^_^. i need to re-bic the sides and spike the shit up though. myke and i broke up..and wont be getting back together..which is kind of shitty but at the same time its not so bad. quitting smoking..going to be quit by 4 20. um...my friend brad got burnned..was cool but shitty at the same time..anywho yeah thats about it..

wheres the silver lining..its no where to be found.

Thu, 08 Mar 2007 03:24:22 GMT

so im single. kind of lost..as most people would be after a break up. thinking about getting ahold of some old faces but i dont know who to get ahold of. chillin at dougs house right now..dunno what to do with my life...

Wed, 13 Sep 2006 23:50:59 GMT

im 19 now..can buy my own smokes..had a great birthday. girlfriends getting hit on by some dumbasses on myspace.....at least when i have the nerve to hit on a girl i try not to be completely lude about it..fuck sticks. anyways. missing people..yes i am..missing musics..yes i am..wanted to hear a few songs on my birthday but i cant because i have NO FUCKING COMPUTER at my house v.v how sad is that? ..anyways..nadalie, how are things with you? ..figured i would ask ..you are like the only person that seems to read my journal frequently so i have a feeling you will reply =D. ..anyways..there isnt much to update i suppose.. ..fuck distant family though -.-, no one in my family other than my dad and sister got me anything o.o...anything at all..someone could have sent me 10 bucks and i would have been happy with it.. -.-. but no..."i havnt seen you in so lon gi dont know what you like anymore" EVERYONE LOVES MONEY what the fuck people get with the program..if you cant think of a gift to give someone..send them money =\

my b-day is on the 8th fuckers

Wed, 16 Aug 2006 23:01:49 GMT

so my fucking birthday is on the 8th of next fucking month..........yeah...does anyone give a damn? ..i know i dont.. my birthdays are pieces of shit generally anyways..i never have a good time..but its alright..this time im going to try and get enough bud to smoke out the people i concider to be actual friends...and hopefully ill have enough money to buy 2 8ths of shrooms as well o.o..maybe they will work this time -.-' they didnt last time. ..anywho..at this juncture i figure no many of you MFs read this thing as it were..so yall probably wont even know about my birthday =). as for you skello...miss ya..talk to me sometime..dont act like your dead..cause i know your alive and i would love to talk to you sometime.

..updates..

Fri, 16 Jun 2006 00:27:46 GMT

so..i met a girl..her name is myke..she sis lovely..weve been going out for about 3 or 4 months now..met on 3/3/2006...-sigh- shes about 5'10'' hes freckles..glasses and a beautiful smile....she makes me happy ..oh so happy -sigh- i got fired from tacobell..im pretty sure i men tioned that before..got a job at mcdonalds..got fired from there as well but they put it as a voluntary quit..fucking bitches. anyways. i havnt talked to alot of you people in a while..if any of you still check this journal every once in a while..send me a hello or something =P. well..peace out everyone..lots of love for those who desearve it.

Fri, 28 Apr 2006 23:18:56 GMT

i met a girl 3/3/06.
she is a lovely girl.
i am in love.
she makes me happy and she treats me very well.
..-sigh- i think i finally found where i belong.

look to the stars!

Mon, 13 Feb 2006 00:35:55 GMT

so i go to arizona tomorrow, monday. ill be staying at my moms for a day then i go to estrella and get stoned as shit and have fun in the mountains..probably by my self but thats alright im used to getting stoned alone =p. ill get to see a few people ..karla..katie maybe but i dont think thats going to happen really. hopefully harley will be at estrella..doubt it...it would be awkward being in her presence anyways i suppose.. i dont know. gunter is going to be there...i spelled his name wrong but oh well he doesnt talk to me anymore anyways so he can deal. yeah o.o.

~"look to the stars and remember your dreams for they are everything that make you who you are"~ - Me.

farking tried

Wed, 01 Feb 2006 01:24:52 GMT

so..updateing again..nothing to really update..i shall warn yall not to wear a cup..at all..so very uncomfortable..and leaves bruises..and..yeah so annoying. anyways. nothing has been up with this area of hell really..i havnt had any work for a while..though my boss hasnt either so thats alright i suppose. yeah.. um.....yeah..tahts it..yeah.

there are no more flies coming out of my straw.

Thu, 26 Jan 2006 02:11:35 GMT

meaning i am out of bullets. anyways...things are alright i suppose..i get lonlier and lonlier each day. sucks to a great extent. i havnt quit smoking cigs yet..i tried though.. but i start up again. as for pot..im not going to quit that. ive decided, though, that i am no longer going to smoke anything on sundays..its a longish story that i wont tell to anymore people. ive been having very weird dreams lately..with alot of people in them that i know in person. yeah... so i havnt cut my self in a little over 3 weeks maybe. and i kind of have two jobs..kind of, see i work with my grandma or for my grandma..help her out around her farm thing..every once in a while. and i work as an electricians helper..though i havnt had any work lately because business is slow there. tomorrow though i will probably be working with my dad at the salt palace for like..maybe 10 dollars an hour..or something..or something along the lines of 2 to 300 dollars a day..who knows, ill find out tomorrow. um...yeah...i need a cigarette right now.. i probably spelled that wrong but i dont really give a shit. well..that is about all i suppose..bye.

updates for those of you who should have one.

Fri, 23 Dec 2005 23:59:52 GMT

so i have a job now..at least im pretty sure i do. i dont know how much i get paid yet..but pretty soon ill know..concidering im supposed to get paid today =\. well, i work as an electricians helper..i dont really do much i suppose..i help wire houses and such...that about sums it up..i also help put in electrical appliences..but yeah o.o..im getting paid out of gregs pocket...so basically under the table i think.. but yeah..its an allright job i suppose..gets frustrating sometimes though. so..im getting better, i quit smoking cigs again. i still cough more than i should though. yeah. anyways, merry christmas to those that i believe are desearving of one. later.

....yeah....shit happens i suppose....

Thu, 15 Dec 2005 01:04:15 GMT

so..im pretty sure now that i might have lung cancer..i am experiancing a few of the symptoms...and it isnt fun. they ar numbered..and what not..so yeah.. adue.

Symptoms and Warning Signs
Unfortunately, the symptoms of lung cancer can take many years to develop which often leads to diagnosis at an advanced stage of this disease. Some of the symptoms that may occur include:
Smoker's cough that persists or becomes intense.

Persistent chest, shoulder, or back pain unrelated to pain from coughing.

1.Increase in volume of sputum.

2.Wheezing.

3.Nonsmoker's cough that persists for more than 2 weeks.

4.Change in color of sputum.

Blood in sputum.

5.Repeated episodes of pneumonia or bronchitis.
Other symptoms that can be related to late-stage lung cancer can include:

6.Fatigue.

7.Loss of appetite.

8.Headache, bone pain, aching joints.

Bone fractures not related to accidental injury.

9.Neurologic symptoms, such as unsteady gait and/or episodic memory loss.

Neck and facial swelling.

Unexplained weight loss.
Other signs and symptoms may be caused by the spread of lung cancer to other parts of the body, including headaches, weakness, pain, bone fractures, bleeding, or blood clots.

..heh

Tue, 13 Dec 2005 23:03:45 GMT

div align="center">

Advanced Global Personality Test Results

Extraversion	\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|	66%
Stability	\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|	33%
Orderliness	\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|	46%
Accommodation	\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|	50%
Interdependence	\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|	50%
Intellectual	\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|	43%
Mystical	\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|	56%
Artistic	\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|	50%
Religious	\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|	36%
Hedonism	\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|	43%
Materialism	\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|	56%
Narcissism	\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|	43%
Adventurousness	\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|	50%
Work ethic	\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|	36%
Self absorbed	\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|	43%
Conflict seeking	\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|	43%
Need to dominate	\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|	36%

Romantic	\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|	56%
Avoidant	\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|	50%
Anti-authority	\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|	50%
Wealth	\|\|\|\|\|\|	23%
Dependency	\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|	43%
Change averse	\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|	50%
Cautiousness	\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|	70%
Individuality	\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|	56%
Sexuality	\|\|\|\|\|\|	30%
Peter pan complex	\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|	70%
Physical security	\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|	36%
Physical Fitness	\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|	70%
Histrionic	\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|	56%
Paranoia	\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|	70%
Vanity	\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|	56%
Hypersensitivity	\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|	56%
Female cliche	\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|	56%

Take Free Advanced Global Personality Test
personality tests by similarminds.com

WAS IST LOS!! XD

Wed, 30 Nov 2005 23:37:13 GMT

so im having a very good day today :D! that would mean i am also in a very good and understanding mood today =) so yes..talk to yall later.

blah

Tue, 29 Nov 2005 22:17:41 GMT

so..this is going to be my first entry in a long time..probably my last..i dont really put any entrys anymore ..find no point to it. so im stilla s lonely as ever..which figures..im a loser losers are meant to be lonely. i spend alot of time playing playstation now ...beat final fantasy 9 in a little less than a week..like..6 days or so. ..so..yeah..i really dont know what to put on here anymore..so im going to leave it at that.. later all.

..yes

Fri, 14 Oct 2005 18:46:28 GMT

..so..lonely again..broken again..feeling unwanted by the ones i want to want me..again. ..will it ever change..? no..thats doubtfull.....anyways..i didnt get on lj to post an emo little post..toolate though i suppose. anyways, i went to my first concert wednesday..the 12th of this month....i saw the akas, suicide city and mindless self indulgence. it was fucking awsome..so yeah..later kids.

..ill call you sometime harley..dad lost our phone..so ..yeah nevermind..

-fades away-

Mon, 29 Aug 2005 23:22:46 GMT

os yeah i have had an interesting weekend and shite because i went camping and then yeah it was all very confuseing. so yeah..i wore a kilt this weekend and then i yeah..i had five fucking wasps fly up my kilt this weekend and got a skeeter bite on my sack..it was annoying and shtie..because i had someone on my lap and then i couldnt itch or scratch it because she was on my lap and that would have been a bad thing. anyways..im going to be wearing a kilt again this week on wednesday on my date :D its going to be interesting hearing her parents responces. anyways i have to get goin because someon is waiting for a computer.

Mon, 29 Aug 2005 23:22:45 GMT

..woah

Mon, 15 Aug 2005 18:04:03 GMT

i just realized..i have posted three times with out mentioning danielle and me breaking up..what is up with that heh. so yeah.danielle and i broke up i am single..working on..something with woaden. so yeah..there you have it. brad is changing..slowly.

pissants.

Fri, 05 Aug 2005 21:17:29 GMT

if anyone in utah wishes to hang out with/talk to me or anything of that sort, you know where i live..you know my dads number, only way im going to call you is if i decide you are sepcial enough to get a phonecall from me, or if you leave a messege with my father. those of you who know where i live..and are smart you know what times ill be home..for example..im usually home around 10 or so, if not i leave a note on the door about my whereabouts. im tired of trying to get ahold of people and getting answering machines or the constant ringing of the phone, and im tired of not feeling welcome when i go places to hang out with people. so these are my new rules. also, i have an email, i have a myspace that i check regularly...messege me sometime if you want to get ahold of me.

butterscotch

Fri, 05 Aug 2005 21:11:21 GMT

the date went wonderfully, we ate..and talked..and talked some more..it was awsome. i believe her and i might be heading somewhere. ..yeah..thats all i have to update i suppose. bye motherfuckers =)